Calendars: FINIS

Last two pages until we get to start this whole rodeo over again next year.

September 2011. From the day we went apple-picking. Which was actually October. But Shae was still wearing her bathing suit for much of September, and none of the pictures looked right. And there's actually only one actual picture of her with an apple. Whatever. Shut up. Don't you judge me.

June 2011. You might remember some of these elements and this exact color scheme from previous scrapping projects that I did last year. That's what super-nice about digital scrapbooking -- you can reuse these things if it turns out that your kid has an orange bathing suit two or more summers in a row.

Whee hoo! Now I can start drinking!

Calendars: But Wait! There's Even MORE!

Three more months done, two more left to go (June and September for the Cupcake Calendar -- and if anyone can tell me why in the hell I skipped those months but got others done in time, then I might have a job for you as my personal assistant-slash-live-my-lifer-because-I-DON'T-WANT-TO-BE-THIS-PERSON-ANYMORE!).

Alternate Caption: "Buncha Turkeys." Saving that one for next year, when there are THREE kids to incorporate into this calendar.

There is probably a reason why there is no word art on this page, but I cannot for the life of me figure out what that reason is. I like it anyway, so fuck it.

I did not intentionally decorate my tree to match this layout page -- I didn't even know I had these pieces anywhere -- but it turned out to be an awfully convenient coincidence. Score one for the Universe.

I'll put the rest up tomorrow when I have them done. Looks like I might actually make the Shutterfly cutoffs for B.O.G.O. and free shipping (for the Cousins Calendar, at least, so that's something), whee! Apparently I actually DO do good work under excruciatingly tight deadline pressure. (Passable work, anyway.)

Calendars: More!

Two more months done! One more month for the Cousins Calendar to go, and four for the Cupcake Calendar. It's GO TIME! If I can get these finished by midnight on 12/16 I can get free shipping PLUS buy-one-get-one-half-off at Shutterfly. And I need to order six calendars, which I going to end up costing me elebenty bajillion dollars. Or lira. I don't even know what currency they're using on the Intarwebs these days.

May 2011 - Inspired by "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles," which I have never actually seen (sssh! don't tell anyone!)

March 2011 - Inspired by, I don't know, Conan O'Brien and Lucky Charms or something

Calendars: So Close and Yet So Far

I still have to do three months of the Cousins Calendar and four months of the Cupcake Calendar, but I managed to get two pages done last night and one last week but I forgot to put it up, so here are the latest:

Two Halloweens, one Christmahannukwanzaakah, and a partridge in a pear tree.

12W12SP2 Update: Skinny Lasagna

We felt like having lasagna for dinner yesterday, but I didn't want to starve the rest of the day, so I used what we had in the freezer and cupboards plus a couple of strategic additions to come up with this magical concoction that satisfied all our cravings and still didn't break the calorie bank. (This recipe is adapted from a basic meat lasagna recipe that I got off the back of a box of pasta about 200 years ago.)


Skinny Lasagna

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• ½ pound ground turkey breast
• 1 small-to-medium zucchini, diced
• 1 small-to-medium yellow onion, diced
• Italian seasonings (or basil, oregano, and garlic powder), to taste
• 1 cup frozen chopped spinach
• 9 lasagna noodles (regular, not no-boil)
• 2 containers (15 ounces each) fat-free ricotta cheese
• 2 cups reduced fat (2%) shredded mozzarella cheese, divided
• ¼ cup (12 tablespoons) shredded Parmesan cheese, divided
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 egg
• 1 jar pasta sauce

1. Heat oil in large skillet over medium-high heat. Add turkey, zucchini, onion, and Italian seasonings. Cook over medium-high head until turkey is cooked through and vegetables are soft. Add spinach and cook another 3-5 minutes or until spinach is thoroughly heated. Remove from heat and set aside to cool slightly.
2. Meanwhile, cook lasagna noodles according to package directions. Drain and rinse with cold water until cool enough to handle. Pat dry with paper towels.
3. Preheat oven to 375°F.
4. In a large mixing bowl, combine ricotta cheese, 1 cup mozzarella cheese, and 6 tablespoons Parmesan cheese. Add cooled turkey mixture. Stir to combine well. Check seasoning and add salt, pepper, and additional Italian seasonings if required. Add egg and stir to combine well.
5. Pour about ½ cup pasta sauce into the bottom of a large (13"x9") baking dish. Spread with the back of a spoon to cover the bottom of the pan. Arrange 3 cooked noodles. Add half of turkey-and-cheese mixture and spread evenly over noodles. Cover with ½ to 1 cup pasta sauce, spreading to cover filling. Sprinkle ⅓ cup mozzarella and 2 tablespoons Parmesan over sauce. Add 3 more noodles and repeat layers. when last 3 noodles have been added, cover well with sauce and sprinkle with remaining cheeses.
6. Cover with foil and bake at 375°F for 35-45 minutes. Remove foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes or until top layer of cheese is browned. Let sit for 5-10 minutes before serving.

Total cooking time is about 1½ hours. Makes 9-12 servings, depending on who's eating and how hungry they are. By my math, for 9 servings, each serving has about 350 calories (less if you use a lower-calorie sauce, but I just used regular old Ragú Mama's Special Garden Sauce, which is our favorite). Even better? Each slab of lasagna has about 2 servings of vegetables (from the sauce, the zucchini, the spinach, and the onion). You can add shredded carrots and/or chopped red bell peppers if you want. It's only two layers instead of the more traditional three, but there is no less filling, only slightly less pasta. And it really has something in there for everybody: meat for the guys, veggies for the gals, and plenty of oozy cheesy goodness for the kids. Pair with a side salad AND a nice slice of multigrain baguette, because you CAN. Reheats well, and my husband is taking leftovers for lunch voluntarily, so you have his seal of approval.


Enjoy!

12W12SP2 Update: 40 lbs. and Holding

If my scale is correct -- and while I think my scale is a vicious, evil monster incapable of being nice to anyone, I still have no reason to doubt its accuracy -- then I have officially been down 40 lbs. (unofficially somewhere around 60 lbs.) for the last two weeks. No major progress, no additional loss, but no gain, either -- and since I know how much I ate over Thanksgiving, I will count this as a solid tie and not fret too much about it.

Although, it's possible my scale could be wrong. My "skinny jeans" which are about 6 weeks old are getting baggy in the hips and butt, and are already baggy in the legs, so evidently something is going on south of the equator, as it were. Basically every single pair of pants I own is too big in some way and desperately unflattering (except the jeans, which still look good, for now anyway). I don't even want to talk about my tops; I have only bought two or three new ones, and I don't want to discuss how counterproductive it probably is to be wearing sweaters that are gigantic and boxy when I am actively dieting.

WHATEVER. This is me. I'll deal. And hopefully I will inch forward a little more, right myself, get re-energized.

I also have to get to work on the 2011 Cousins and Cupcake Calendars, because I have about 9 months left to do, and I'm getting close to deadline. And the new World of Warcraft expansion comes out in just FIVE DAYS, so I'll have to make time this weekend.

12W12S2P Update: Test Run

We had our annual Turkey Feast at work today, and I used it as a gauge to try to plan my "attack" for Thanksgiving day. This is what I ended up eating:

• 3 ounces white meat turkey
• 2 tablespoons gravy
• ½ cup mashed potatoes
• ½ cup stuffing
• ½ cup triple-squash soup
• 1 spinach roll (roll with spinach, onions, and cheese)
• ½ cup green beans
• 2 tablespoons light pumpkin dip*
• 2 Danish butter cookies
• 2 spice wafer cookies

All told, LoseIt says that's approximately 700 calories of food. That's kind of a lot, more than half my calories for the day, and I want to do better for Thanksgiving. I know that I will have more vegetable options on the Big Day -- there were not a lot of plain, unbecasseroled vegetables available today, since 50% of the covered dish contributions were desserts. Our family dinner always includes broccoli, and I have no qualms about helping myself to half a plate of broccoli. I may also make some veggies of my own, just to make sure there are enough, since I know I won't be the only person at the table who is trying to be careful.

Here is my plan so far: same amount of turkey and gravy, no mashed potatoes, same amount of stuffing (because my Uncle Quack makes some damn fine stuffing), half a dinner roll (although I will tell you right now that the spinach roll was worth the indulgence), way more vegetables (including V8, which is ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED for me to feel like I have had a complete Thanksgiving meal), and only a little bit of dessert. I am planning to make a lemon custard pie that is a Weight Watchers recipe that only has like 2 points per serving. Although I keep insisting that I am not doing a low-carb diet, per se, I will admit that cutting back on starchy foods does seem to be an easy way to stay on target.

The other accommodations I have made today? Small breakfast (oatmeal with raisins) and small dinner (probably a can of soup, and some whole-grain bread if I have enough calories). Lots of water and Diet Coke. And an early bedtime.

=====

For like the last three years I have been making pumpkin dip for our Turkey Feast, because it is DELICIOUS, but it's also sort of high in calories because it is basically a bowl of creamed sugar. So I made it a slightly different way today, made it "lighter," and it was just as good, maybe even better because the flavorings were a little richer. If you will be at my sister's baby shower, you'll be eating this recipe.

• 15 ounce can pure pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
• small package of sugar-free instant vanilla pudding mix
• small package of sugar-free instant cheesecake-flavored pudding mix
• 1 teaspoon (or so) pumpkin pie spice
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 16 ounces fat-free Cool Whip

In a large bowl, beat together pumpkin, pudding mixes, spices, and vanilla with a hand mixer until well-blended, uniform in color, and fluffy. Add half the Cool Whip and beat on medium-high speed for two minutes. Add remaining Cool Whip and beat on high speed for another two minutes. Adjust seasonings if necessary. Turn out into a serving bowl. Cover and refrigerate overnight. Serve with graham crackers, spice wafers, or cookies. (Or, if you are me, eat straight out of the bowl with a spoon.) Approximately 30 calories per 2 tablespoon serving.

12W12S2P Update: Oh Shut Up Already

I've been really bad in the last month or so, if you define bad in the same way that I do, which is actually being hungry and eating something.

Since I started this diet-or-whatever back in May, I've probably cut my calorie consumption in half, or close to it, anyway. Right now I get 1,353 calories a day on my plan, and I figure I was probably around 2,300-2,500 per day before I started. That is not an insignificant change.

Most of the time, I am fine with this, but lately I've been allowing myself "undocumented" treats, like an extra cookie here or there, and clearly it is adding up, because I am not losing weight as quickly any more. And I am getting frustrated, and allowing for more "undocumented" treats, which blah blah blah -- you know the drill.

I don't stop the emotional eating, even after all this time and all this (relative) discipline, is what I am saying.

Now we're getting into what is probably the worst time of the year for a dieter: the dreaded Holidays. Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK. Christmas is exactly a month after that, with New Year's right behind. Between now and then, I have one office Turkey Feast (this Wednesday), one World's Second Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (night before Thanksgiving), Thanksgiving itself (which I usually celebrate twice, once in the early afternoon and again in the evening), a baby shower for my sister (Saturday after Thanksgiving), the annual Haldaman Christmas party, Christmas, New Year's Eve, plus whatever we happen to do at the office. That list doesn't even include a retirement dinner for my dad, which we are hoping to celebrate while my sister and her family are in town from Chicago.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this, so that I can allow myself to have a good time at these parties without starving myself the rest of the time, and still keep losing (or, at least, not gaining). I can't eat nothing but broccoli at Thanksgiving dinner. I can't eat nothing but salad the rest of the time (especially not when that salad is made with oh-so-yummy and also oh-so-fattening hot bacon dressing). I am hoping to get in some extra exercise over parts of the holiday period, but I don't know if it will be enough to counter-balance the plate full of carbs and turkey skin that I normally eat for Thanksgiving dinner (stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls -- and sorry, but a nice crispy skin is the best part of the turkey).

AND OH MY GOD I WANT SOME PIE.

But mostly I want to find the place in my head where I can tell myself that it's okay to have an "off" week once in a while. I've been on this diet and doing pretty well since the beginning of May. Six months. I've unofficially lost somewhere between fifty and sixty pounds (officially, 37½ lbs.). I am entitled to a treat, and I know this. Rewards and positive reinforcement are good motivators. But I don't know how or where to draw the line between "occasional treat" and "unearned entitlement." And I don't know how to turn off the part of my brain that keeps saying that a week of zero loss and zero gain makes me a complete and utter failure and I should just go drown myself in a gallon of ice cream, or worse: I should never be allowed to eat again.

And I really need to figure out how I can fit some pie in there, while I'm at it.

12W12S2P Update: Hanging In

Lost another 2½ pounds since the last time I weighed in (last weekend, maybe), which is pretty impressive because I also have PMS. (I always get that special combination of bloating and constipation when I have PMS, which makes weighing in especially ... special.)

That is the single weirdest thing about this diet, so far: I am now getting regular periods. WTF? I have never gotten regular periods in my whole life, except when I was on the bill. I once went almost A WHOLE YEAR between periods. That is one thing I could have probably done without, but oh well. Since June or July, I have gotten my period every month. I only had maybe five periods in all of the last year prior to that.

IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS, STAY OFF THE INTERNET. LULZ.

Anyway ... it's getting cold and when it gets cold I like to eat heavy, rich, warm foods. So tonight we are having chicken enchiladas (or, as we like to call them for reasons that we don't even know any more, "chicky-itchy-llamas"). Except we're making them with turkey. Our recipe comes basically from the back of a can of Old El Paso enchilada sauce, the red kind (so I won't reprint here due to copyright issues, because I am not Cooks Source magazine), but we do make the following changes:

• Only use one can of sauce (yields 6 enchiladas, instead of 12)
• Ground turkey or chicken, instead of ground beef
• When browning meat, add ½ cup or so of diced onion
• Use low-fat or fat-free cheese
• Serve with a little bit of nonfat sour cream

Try it sometime. You'll really like them! By my math, using this recipe, there are about 210 calories per enchilada (variable depending on the leanness of your meat and the calories in your tortillas and cheese). And I usually eat 2 enchiladas, plus a little bit of rice and a little bit of beans? About 600 calories of LOCO BUENO. (We have ours with fat-free refried beans and Spanish/Mexican/taco rice.)

12W12S2P Update: Red October

HOLA, LOVERS! (Yes, that was a shout-out to the Jennifer Lopez-tagged posts from Go Fug Yourself -- go check them out if you love making fun of J-Lo and her highly suspect and questionable fashion choices, as I do. Because La Lopez? Totally dresses like a VERY EXPENSIVE, VERY CRAZY PERSON.)

Anyway. Been quiet for the last week and a half. Sorry about that. Right now I am still at my last recorded weight: 227. (Cue Marla Gibbs singing the theme song from that old sitcom.) Over the weekend I was unable to get an accurate weight because, once again, I had "tummy trouble."

Right now I am tired and stressed out and I have been grazing all day long. I didn't document the pita chips or the couple of spoonfuls of mac & cheese I ate, and I think I'm not going to. I am just going to work on not doing that any more. We have plateaus from time to time; I can't let this send me off the rails.

Hopefully when I weigh in this weekend I will have at least a 1-pound loss, to get me back into a losing state of mind. I know I haven't gained anything back -- at least, I don't think so -- but I really want to get back on the pace of losing 2 lbs. per week, like I was. I've only lost three pounds in the last three weeks and it's starting to get into my head.

Obliviously on, I shall sail ...

12W12S2P Update: Skinny Jeans

Lost 3 lbs. in the past two weeks -- a little off pace, but since I had PMS, I'll take it. I also bought some "skinny jeans" over the weekend, which is a big milestone for me.

This week I'm trying something new at lunch: sandwiches (which is code for "we didn't go to the store this weekend and I didn't want to stand in front of the Lean Cuisine bunker at Giant when I was already running late for getting dinner on the table"). Picked up some 7-grain light bread and some lunch meat. We'll see how it goes.

Also: it's almost Halloween! Which means I will be eating the crap out of some Frankenberry and Boo Berry cereal for the next couple of weeks. I love being on a diet where this is allowed.

12W12S2P Update: Update

Something I forgot to mention yesterday: my daily calorie budget is now 1,402. That's fourteen hundred and two. That extra two on the end seems kind of random, like someone actually looked at the number and went "hahaha, let's add a couple so we don't freak anyone out." When I started using LoseIt! I was allowed close to 1,600 calories a day, and if I lose even one more pound I will be under 1,400 calories a day, which seems like it's just crazy.

But here we are, anyway. People are asking me how I am doing this, and I am only half joking when I say, "Starvation." Of course I am not really starving, not really, but some days it feels like it. Some days I have to really talk myself out of eating tortilla chips, lest I be unable to stop myself from eating the entire bag. "Close my eyes and think of England," as they say in certain other circumstances. (Go Google it.)

To adjust for the reduction in calories, I have made one small adjustment to my current plan. For the past few weeks I have been eating Lean Cuisine-type entrées for lunch with 300 calories or fewer -- I have changed that to be 250 calories or fewer. So now the basic idea is 300/350/600 with whatever is left for snacks. I don't really want to go any lower at breakfast -- it is the most important meal of the day, after all -- and I won't be able to get much smaller at lunch, so dinner will be the next place to face cuts.

And I will tell you right now: I will give up meat entirely before I give up my mashed potatoes. Most days I am down to around ½ cup of "carbs" (starchy sides) at dinner time and I am okay with that, so meat is the next logical place to make cuts. I really don't want to give up my afternoon snack or my dessert (and I am afraid that a popsicle just won't cut it -- I need something sweet and heavy, like cookies or ice cream), so meat is next. We'll see.

By the by -- if you're reading this, and you use LoseIt! (you can now update online without the iPhone app), and you want to be my friend, let me know. This is working for me, and I want to provide as much support for others as I can. Join me!

PS -- Those technical difficultiesfrom the other week? Constipation. Done now. No worries.

12W12S2P Update: Mashed Potatoes

Down 30 officially, and close to 50 unofficially. Nothing fits, not even my socks. I give the hell up.

Now we're getting to the time of year when the weather wreaks havoc on a diet -- fall. It's getting cool and all I want to eat is potatoes, and then sleep for weeks at a time. Heavy foods: pot roast, pumpkin pie, cream-based soups. Don't know anyone who thinks a salad is filling in cool weather. I caved in today, a little bit, and made meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. More calories than I usually eat for the starchy side, but they were damned good; here is the recipe I used.



Lighter Garlic Parmesan Mashed Potatoes

• 2 medium red-skinned potatoes
• 2 small Yukon gold potatoes
• 4 medium-to-large cloves garlic
• salt, for boiling water
• 1 tablespoon butter
• ½ cup fat-free half-and-half
• ¼ cup shredded Parmesan cheese
• pepper and/or dried chives, to taste

Peel potatoes (leave as much skin as desired). Cut into 1" cubes. Peel garlic. Add potatoes and water to saucepan. Add water and salt to taste. Boil until potatoes fall apart when stirred. Drain. Add butter to pan, then return cooked potatoes to pan. Add half-and-half and Parmesan cheese and mash by hand to desired consistency. Season with pepper and chives; stir and serve.

Makes about 2 cups of mashed potatoes, with about 160 calories per ½ cup.


Honestly, delicious. And it satisfied the craving I was having. Also, we made the meatloaf with turkey, and we're having it again tomorrow with gravy and egg noodles. So we're multitasking, whee!

Calendars - April and September 2011

Because I need to do SOMETHING while I'm watching mah stories.

Cupcake Calendar - April 2011

Cousins Calendar - September 2011

12W12S2P Update: Pending

Can't give you a weight loss update at this point because I can't get an accurate reading right now -- let's just say "technical difficulties" and leave it at that. Instead I will give you the recipe for what we had for dinner tonight and hope it is sufficient for now.


Skinny Stuffed Shells

• 15 jumbo shells
• 15 ounces fat-free ricotta cheese
• 1 cup shredded 2% milk mozzarella cheese
• ¼ cup shredded Parmesan or Romano cheese
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1 cup frozen chopped spinach, thawed
• ¼ cup shredded carrots (optional)
• salt and pepper, to taste
• 1 egg, lightly beaten
• 26 ounces (1 jar) pasta sauce

Cook shells according to package directions. Drain, rinse under cold running water, and drain again thoroughly. Preheat oven to 350°F. In a bowl, combine cheeses, garlic, spinach, carrots, salt, pepper, and egg. Mix to combine thoroughly. Spray a 9"x13" baking dish with cooking spray and coat the bottom with 1 cup of sauce. Fill cooked pasta shells with equal parts filling and arrange in bottom of baking dish. Pour remaining sauce over stuffed shells (and sprinkle additional shredded cheese on top, if desired). Loosely cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Remove foil and bake for another 20-30 minutes or until heated through.

Makes 15 shells. Approximately 115 calories per shell. Average serving = 3 shells (350 calories). [Edited because I can't do math!]



Balsamic Roasted Squash

• 1 medium zucchini, sliced
• 1 yellow summer squash, sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, sliced
• salt and pepper, to taste
• ½ tablespoon olive oil
• ½ tablespoon balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 350°F. Spray a roasting dish with cooking spray. Add vegetable slices. Season with salt and pepper, and drizzle with oil and vinegar. Toss well to coat. Cover and cook for 30 minutes. Uncover, stir well, and cook uncovered for another 20-30 minutes or until cooked through and slightly browned. If desired, sprinkle with shredded Parmesan or Romano cheese and place under broiler for 3-5 minutes or until browned to your like.

Makes about 4 cups. Approximately 40 calories per cup.

Calendars - August 2011

Oh, yeah. THESE.

Just because I haven't been posting doesn't mean I haven't been WORKING. (And I'm still only halfway ... eesh.)

12W12S2P Update: "Can't" Is A Four-Letter Word

I have complained before about Weight Watchers, and how I basically hate it, even though I know it is a program that works for a lot of people, including me at one point. But it's really hard for me to get behind a corporation, part of the diet-and-fitness-industrial-complex, that makes money by featuring an Academy Award winner in a commercial whose tagline is, essentially:


"Before Weight Watchers, my whole world was 'can't.'"


Other people have put this better than I could -- see here -- but I think it's worth mentioning just the same. I went on this dumb diet for my own reasons, which even I don't know, but I assure you that nothing about me will be different when I'm finished except my bra size. I don't actually feel any better about myself, because not eating doesn't fix self-esteem problems that had nothing to do with the number on the scale in the first place. I've admitted that I'm probably more neurotic now, more self-conscious, than I have been in a long time, because people are noticing me now, and it makes me uncomfortable. I don't think that wearing a single-digit pant size is going to magically repair all the damage that 36 years of living my own crazy life has caused.


The article I link to comes off, a little bit, as bashing Jennifer Hudson, which is not the writer's intent, I don't think. But I do agree with her that it is not a big leap to watch the commercial and think, "Really? Your 'whole world was "can't?"' Really? The Oscar, the Grammy, the baby, all of that? Was 'can't?'" I nodded my head when I read, "Weight Watchers wants us all to believe that there is no such thing as success or happiness unless you’re thin." Because I believe that it's true. The weight-loss industry does not make billions of dollars a year by basing its business plan on people loving themselves at any size.


Sometimes, like now, the mixed messages make me want to cry. One of the biggest reasons why I wanted to make a lifestyle change in the first place was to set a good example for my daughter: eat healthy, move healthy, be healthy, the way we want her to be. But if she sees me measuring rice and counting pistachios and eating only a sandwich for dinner while everyone else is eating pork chops, what is that telling her? Is it telling her the same thing that it tells me -- that it doesn't matter what we do, because someone will find a reason to find us inadequate in some way? Too tall, too thin, too curly-headed? Too short, too fat, too poker-straight?


What do you do when your three-year-old asks you, "Why?" and you don't answer, because you can't?

12W12S2P Update: -26

I lost another three pounds this week, for a total "official" loss of 26 lbs., with under 100 lbs. to go until I get to my goal weight. Just under 100 lbs. -- 99, to be exact -- but still. I guess this means I'm 20% of the way to my "official" goal weight ("official" being in quotes because I've actually lost more than that, but I haven't been keeping track this whole time).

Ninety-nine pounds to go is still a big scary number, but it's double digits, so I'll take it.

Today I am celebrating by having the biggest dessert I've had since I started: a slice Edwards Crème Pie with Reese's. And let me tell you: those 350 calories are going to be WORTH IT.

Thanks for joining me on this journey, by the way. I still have a long way to go, so I hope I don't bore you too much.

12W12S2P Update: STFU, N00bz

Two more pounds down this week. Officially down 23 lbs., unofficially down at least 40 lbs. I had to give up my one major indulgence, my Mountain Dew, my tiny little baby can of Mountain Dew, to get this far, but it was either that, or give up dessert after dinner, and I decided that I love ice cream sandwiches too much. A real Sophie's choice, that: soda or dessert? I've cast my lot in with the Dairy Gods. I hope they don't let me down.

I'm getting to a point now where I have to give in and buy new clothes, because everything is too big and too saggy and too long and too baggy, but I am hoping that I can hold on for a little while longer. There are some sweaters in my closet that I think I can make work, and sweater season isn't too far off. Pants are an ongoing problem -- I still have a jelly-belly, but no so much with the thunder thighs any more, yet I have to get a bigger size pants than I actually "need" so I can get them buttoned. I keep digging in the closet, hoping for hidden treasures.

People at work are starting to notice, starting to talk, and it's making me feel paranoid and ugly. To my face they are complimentary, but their eyes are dead and cold, or worse: angry, hot, vicious. I see them watching me, analyzing everything I eat, judging my choices. Especially on Wednesdays, when I allow myself a "splurge" for breakfast, usually two frozen waffles or pancakes, with low-calorie syrup and turkey breakfast sausage. There are a lot of Weight Watchers here, and they are using a different math than I am to count. I can tell what they are thinking: How is that diet food? I thought the same thing, myself, not all that long ago.

I can hear the whispers, too: She spends a lot of time in the bathroom. Maybe I am hypersensitive, but I get the implication. People think I have an eating disorder, probably bulimia. Never mind that I don't, that no one has ever seen or heard me do what they are suggesting that they think I do. They wonder why I can eat waffles for breakfast and still keep losing, while they eat popcorn for every meal and don't. The Weight Watchers have been grumbling. Losses are slow for them now. Some of them have stopped losing all together. But I have not, so it must be me who is doing something unseemly or untoward or unfair. They think I am cheating.

No, I am not cheating. I am just drinking a lot of water, so I have to pee a lot. Throwing up is gross. Seriously.

My heart hurts when I think about it, and my head pounds, and I want to tell them all to shut up and mind their own damn business. This thing I am doing, this lifestyle change, this is HARD WORK. It's really, really hard. Especially for an emotional eater whose peaks and valleys in appetite levels have much to do with feelings and fatigue. I spend a part of every day stressed out, and so I spend a part of every day hungry. I must pass a hundred restaurants when I am driving home from work, and I can smell every molecule of deliciousness that they are serving. Chinese food, Mexican, steaks, pasta, white sauce, butter, fresh baked rolls with olive oil and rosemary. Some days are worse than others, when I need to exercise every ounce of self-control that I have to not pull off the road at the next exit and stop at the first place I see and just chow down until I explode.

And some days are worse than that, even: some days, I don't want to eat anything at all, just to show these bitches that I can, just to piss them off, just to be petty and spiteful, just to make them feel as ugly as they make me feel. Sometimes I feel like I can survive the day by doing nothing but smelling other people's food. These are the days that make me wonder -- do I have a problem? Do I really have some kind of disorder, maybe one that does not have a name yet? Probably I do. Probably we all do, a little bit. How we handle our disorders is more important than the disorders themselves, though.

Of course I want to say that it doesn't bother me, but obviously it does. The superficiality of all of it is disgusting, frankly. I am not trying to change anything about myself except how I look. Who I am is fundamentally not changing. Why should the rest of me change? There is nothing wrong with who I am. Do other people change their personalities when they change their dress size? Do people think that I am so terrible a person that when I lose more weight the demon inside will surface and slay them all? Why? That doesn't make any sense.

Although, neither does eating popcorn for every meal and expecting to lose 20 lbs. overnight. So I suppose none of this should surprise me.

12W12S2P Update: 21 Down

As of my weigh-in this morning, I am officially down 21 lbs., and unofficially I think the total is 40 lbs. I'm going to celebrate by having a Dorito today, and I might maybe buy a hunk of some sexy cheese at Wegman's and share it at my uncle's Labor Day picnic today.

Some things I have learned that I can't live without on this diet:

• Frozen chopped spinach -- yes, I know fresh is better, but a 1-lb. bag of frozen chopped spinach lasts me a month or more. I throw a handful in with my Egg Beaters, and I throw a couple of handfuls in with spaghetti sauce. Doesn't add much to the flavor but there's lots of iron, it adds color, and it's a nice little shot of extra veggies.
• Egg Beaters -- I'm using the Garden Veggie flavor now, but Cheese and Chive is also very tasty. I used to eat two eggs every morning on the weekends, but ½ cup of Egg Beaters is approximately the same amount of food, and it has fewer calories than one whole egg. Which means more calories available for meat and cheese and delicious, delicious English muffins.
• Sweetened dried cranberries -- I'm not a huge fan or plain Wheaties or corn flakes, but 1½-2 tablespoons of these bad boys really help. And they are delicious mixed in with raisin bran, too.
• Pistachios -- I'm getting to the point where I don't have a whole lot of calories left for snacks, but these suckers are worth it. My favorite kind? Everybody's Nuts European Roast.

Not sure what I'm going to change up this week. Hopefully this weekend I can get in some decent exercise (I will be swimming three days in a row, whee!), so maybe I won't have to think about it for a few days.

12W12S2P: Dietary Weirdness

Lost another two pounds last week -- go me! Now I get 1,474 calories a day, which seems like a scarily low number, but I've been okay so far. Obviously it's easier on days when I do some kind of activity, like spending a half-hour "power shopping" through Wegmans, only stopping when necessary to pick out the best broccoli crowns, and to investigate some bread options. According to Lose It, that burned 132 calories, and I don't doubt it -- if you've ever been in a high-end grocery store at dinner time, you know it is a full-contact aerobic activity.

I've been hungry lately, craving salty carb-y foods in particular, which means I am either tired (possible) or PMS-ing (also possible). My history shows that there is nothing in the world more delicious than Fritos when I have PMS, and I tend to get a "bottomless pit" hunger, so I am trying to keep up the water and diet decaf tea consumption so I don't fall back into bad habits. String cheese and carefully planned ice cream selections (i.e., 100 calorie Skinny Cow truffle bars) should help with that, I hope.

A couple of random things that I wanted to mention in case I need them for my therapist later:

• Since I started the most recent "iteration" of this plan -- 300/400/600 calories for breakfast/lunch/dinner -- I have almost completely stopped using sauce when we have pasta. I didn't eat a lot of sauce before anyway, but now whenever I have some kind of macaroni (like last night, when we had ravioli for supper) I top mine with canned diced tomatoes, a little bit of Parmesan cheese, and ... BUTTER. Seriously. Sometimes it's margarine, if I don't have the calories to spare. But lately I've been putting some kind of butter-ish substance on my noodles. Never very much, usually just a tablespoon for 3-4 cups of cooked pasta, but some nonetheless. I never did this before. I don't know why I thought of this, but I kind of think it came from Top Chef Masters. Weird.
• Something else I would have never done before, but which I love now: Cooked fettuccine tossed with a small amount of butter, a single-serve pack of frozen peas (cooked), a couple of slices of lunch meat ham or Canadian bacon, cut into strips and heated for a few seconds in a skillet, and a tablespoon of Parmesan cheese. (Regular bacon would work too but we don't have it often.) Seriously, it's delicious and quick and surprisingly satisfying.
• Today for breakfast I had a whole frozen bagel -- DECADENCE! DEPRAVITY! -- that I toasted and schmeared with 1 wedge of light Laughing Cow cheese and a slice of Canadian bacon, nuked for 30 seconds. I don't know if it's because I had a whole bagel, or because it was cheese, or what, but jumping Jesus on a pogo stick, was that DELICIOUS.

That's the update for the week. This weekend I need to squeeze in as much swimming as I can before the pools get closed. I'm going to miss it so much.

12W12S2P: 3 More Down

Lost three more pounds this week. I still don't entirely know how, but no doubt the increasingly limited calorie consumption has a big deal to do with that. It seems like a million years ago that I started this thing, and if you had asked me then if I ever could have pictured myself at this point, where I am eating under 1,500 calories per day, I would have laughed right in your face.

Yet, here we are. With our 1,487 calorie-per-day budget.

I won't lie: this is not easy. Obviously I am not at a plateau, because I am still losing regularly, but I definitely feel like this is a really rough patch. I'm hungry pretty often. Some of this is because my life is kind of boring, and when I get bored I want to eat just to have something to do, but some of it is also because 1,487 calories is not very many. I will find a way to make this work for me, as I have managed to do so far. But it will continue to not be easy, and as we get into fall and our fresh produce options become limited, I fear it will only get worse.

This week I am trying to "broaden my horizons," foodwise, by not eating so many Lean Cuisines. I have favorites, and I don't want to get bored with them just like I am getting bored with everything else. Today I am having soup for lunch -- and by the way, if you're reading this, Campbell's Soup people, thanks for making so many of the Chunky Soups in the "Healthy Request" variety. Seriously. Plain old vegetable soup doesn't always do it for me, but chicken corn chowder sounds downright decadent to me right now.

Also, I am trying a new dessert -- Hostess 100-calorie lemon cupcakes. I am generally a big fan of the ice-cream-based dessert varieties, but sometimes you want a little something different. This is one of those times.

Still trying to keep up with the daily exercising, even if it is only a little bit. I will keep doing 60 wall push-ups every day until they don't hurt any more. I took yesterday off from my "flappy chicken arm" exercises, and I didn't do any ab work, but I will be back to my routine today.

12W12S2P: The One With The Brain Damage

I've totally gone full-tilt-boogie-off-the-rails with this current obsession with my "flappy chicken arms," and this time I mean it. I've done wall push-ups and some very sad little basic crunches for the last three days in a row, and last night after dinner I was researching triceps exercises on the Internet. I think my arms are going to fall off, no lie, and a whole bunch of things have been snapping, crackling, and popping when I get out of bed in the morning.

My chiropractor is going to kill me.

Anyway ... much like writing down what I was eating in the beginning helped to keep me honest -- and seriously, this kind of journaling is SO HELPFUL for this kind of thing -- I imagine that an exercise journal will also help, so here is a list of what I have done since Monday. This might be the last one of these you get, too, because have I mentioned that I think my arms are going to fall off?

• Monday: 60 wall push-ups (6x sets of 10 with different inclines and hands in different positions), 30 standard ab crunches (with terrible form), 20-count of "reverse crunch pose" (where I lay in a yoga-type pose with my gut sucked in and my knees tucked into my chest -- not sure what I think this will do, but I sure feel something in my lower abs)
• Tuesday: 60 wall push-ups (4x sets of 15 with different inclines and hands in different positions), 30 standard ab crunches (still terrible form, but I am working on it), 30 "crossover" crunches (where I aim opposite elbows at opposite knees), 30-count of "reverse crunch pose," 30-count of this thing I used to do in swimming where I keep my feet 6 inches off the floor and make a small backstroke kicking motion (I think we called it "six inches," so that's what I'll call it from now on)
• Wednesday: 60 wall push-ups (4x sets of 15), 30 standard crunches, 30 cross-crunches, 40-count of reverse crunch pose, 40-count of six inches, 20x each side of 4 different arm exercises that I got from my sister (using soup cans for weights)

Right now I am not focusing on leg or back exercises too much, because I can live with thunder thighs but apparently arm flab gives me the heebie-jeebies. Hopefully I will be adding some more core exercises soon; I have requested a bunch of shows from FitTV but the TiVo hasn't picked them up yet. And don't even get me started on the lack of cardio -- baby steps, k?

Any more suggestions, let me know.

12W12S2P: Emergency Update

I am still thinking more often than not about joining a gym, but I haven't fully committed to the idea yet, which means that perhaps there is hope for me yet. In the meantime, in an effort to feel like I'm doing something -- because, COME ON, these chicken wings are not going to magically tone themselves overnight -- I have taken a very drastic step:

PUSH-UPS.

Do you know how long it's been since I've done push-ups? Me either. I don't think I ever even did them when I was swimmer, far back in the uncharted backwaters of time. They didn't start sending swimmers to the gym as part of their regular training at my high school until I was a senior, and by then I was the manager / announcer, so it was moot. Maybe we did push-ups and sit-ups with the Y, but I don't remember.

So, it's been a while. And I've done 90 push-ups in the last two days, plus 30 (terrible) crunches and some kind of pose that I remembered from the three yoga classes I ever took, which did something to my lower abs and now it hurts a little bit.

And before you accuse me of being butternuts crazy -- WHICH I TOTALLY AM -- I did not just jump in to doing full-on push-ups. Right now I am doing wall push-ups, at various different inclines and with different hand positions, until I find the ones that work the back of my arms and my shoulders the way I want them to. There might be some chest-exercize-action going on, too, but I can't tell because my boobs are in the way.

I am also looking into some programs on Fit TV, because hey, we totally have that channel! And since I'm already paying for satellite TV, it's not going to cost me anything extra. Which is always good. I know I still need to get my ass in the pool regularly, and light some weights for real, but this is a start, right?

12W12S2P: Hungry

I lost another two pounds this week -- huzzah! Since I started using Lose It and keeping track, I've lost 14 lbs., and before that I lost at least 15 lbs., so right now I am confident in saying that I am down about 30 lbs., which by all objective measures is fantastic. I've definitely lost 5% of my starting weight, and probably more like ≥ 10%. I've also lost 10% of my goal weight, although I am not sure that counts for much, but once I get started with numbers and statistics I seem to keep "inventing" new ones. No doubt it's another one of my myriad of mental illnesses. I wish the pounds would come off faster, but I realize that I did not get Like This overnight, and I shouldn't expect to reverse the course in a snap, either. Baby steps, grasshopper, as they say.

Still, though, for all the progress I've made -- and it is A LOT, seriously -- I still have a ways to go. I'm 10% of the way to my goal weight, with a big ol' 90% to go, and I don't want to say I am running out of steam, not exactly, but I am definitely running low on enthusiasm. Right now my daily limit is 1,507 calories, and if I lose 2 lbs. or more this week, my allowance will be under 1,500 calories. That ... doesn't sound like much. Not to me, anyway. I believe I am doing things healthily and reasonably, and I am finding ways to work with some of my original 12W12S goals (fruit or veggie at every meal, sensible snacks, still finding ways to fit Mountain Dew into my menu everyday), but I don't know how much longer I'll be able to keep this up and not feel hungry all the time.

That's my big plateau, right now -- getting over this semi-constant hungry feeling. It started while I was on vacation, and I haven't really been able to find a way to abate it yet. I've been drinking plenty of water and decaf diet drinks, I've been trying to fill up on high-fiber foods, I've been eating at consistent times every day, but I still find myself unsatisfied, somehow. I don't know if it's the balance of the foods I've been eating, or the spicing, or if I'm getting bored, or what. Do I need more protein? Less salt? Should I switch out my grapes and bananas for berries and grapefruit? Maybe I'm becoming a more efficient calorie-burning machine since I've starting losing weight? I just don't know.

But I am daydreaming about cheesecake and chocolate and caramel lately, and it's starting to become a test of my resolve every day. So far I haven't succumbed. I guess until I figure out how to get past this point, I should probably stay out of the bakery aisle at Wegman's. And get my kid to stop singing about making pie. Anybody have a spare muzzle I can borrow until I get over this hump?

12W12S2P: Recipe

That little addendum to the code name up there? The "2P" part? That's "Phase Two." Because we are now in 2P, people, and that means we're getting creative all up in this beeyotch. I said yesterday that one of my new goals is to keep dinner at 600 calories or under (all the better to leave room for pistachios and Skinny Cow fudge bars and MOAR MOUNTAIN DEW), and sometimes that requires some fancy footwork. Again, as I said yesterday, thank heavens I can cook. Here is what I whipped up for dinner yesterday, and it was pretty darned awesome, and if I did my math correctly, it was also under 500 calories. G loved it, and Shae even ate some. (Not a lot, because she is Having A Phase, but she tried it, at least, which is progress.) It's a little bit spicy -- not hot-spicy, but slight-afterburn-spicy -- so beware if you don't like Mexican-style food. I marked some possible substitutions with a blue "*" asterisk for easy reference.


CHILE-STUFFED PEPPERS
Makes 3 servings. By my math (with help from Lose It!), I figure this is ~425 calories per serving.

• 3 large green bell peppers
• 1 tablespoon olive oil (optional)
• ½ pound ground beef, 90% lean*
• ¼ cup onion, finely chopped
• 1 can diced tomatoes with green chiles, drained*
• ⅔ cup Spanish rice (packaged, prepared according to directions)*
• 6 tablespoons shredded cheddar cheese, divided*

Cut off top ½" of peppers. Do not discard tops. Remove seeds and membranes from peppers to make "bowls." Blanch in salted boiling water for 5-7 minutes or until peppers are softened but not mushy. Carefully remove from heat and rinse with cold water until cool enough to handle. Drain, pat dry, and set aside.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Clean and finely chop tops of peppers. In a large skillet, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add chopped pepper tops, ground beef, and onion. Cook for 7-10 minutes or until meat is browned and vegetables are softened. Add diced tomatoes and cook for 5-7 minutes or until most of liquid is evaporated. Add rice and cook 3-5 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in 3 tablespoons cheese.

Arrange pepper "bowls" in bottom of a small baking dish. Fill each pepper with ⅓ of meat mixture, packing with the back of a spoon if necessary. Sprinkle 1 tablespoon cheese over each stuffed pepper. Bake at 350°F for 7-10 minutes or until cheese is melted and browned. Allow to cool for 5 minutes before serving and enjoying.


Possible Substitutions: Any ground meat can be substituted for the ground beef. If you don't like spicy food, you can substitute a can of plain diced tomatoes, or if you like extra spicy food, you can substitute a can of chili-seasoned diced tomatoes or diced tomatoes with jalapeños. Mexican rice or a bean-and-rice mix can be substituted for Spanish rice, and any other kind of cheese can be substituted for the cheddar. Note that any changes to ingredients may affect calorie counts.

12W12S: Phase Two

So my original 12 weeks and 12 steps are up, and it's time to do some serious evaluation of myself. Here is what I got out of my self-designed program so far:

• Taking baby steps? AWESOME. Because they're totally stick-to-able. (Yes, I know this is a fundamental tenet of Weight Watchers and stuff, but it's like most kinds of therapy: you are not helped until you admit that you are ready to be helped. The Rules don't work until you are ready to follow the rules.)
• Designing a diet around Mountain Dew? ALSO AWESOME. Because who feels like they're on a diet when you're allowed to have Mountain Dew every day? Not that I actually drink it every day -- I brought a bunch with me on vacation, and only had like three of them, and two of them were on the same day -- but knowing that an indulgence is not only allowed, but practically encouraged? Unbelievably liberating.
• It's a good thing I am a decent cook who can make meals that fit into my calorie budget as well as making my husband and daughter happy, or else we'd all be screwed. When G and I did Weight Watchers together many years ago, we both got sick of it pretty quickly because we were eating a lot of chicken and brown rice and bleargh. Now? Not so much, and I'm still down about 40 lbs.
• Greek yogurt is DA BOMB.

Now that we're here and I'm still having continued success, I need to revamp the plan a little bit. I'm going to continue to use LoseIt! because it's been such a helpful tool, and I really hope that it goes live in an Internet version soon so I can get all my friends to use it. Based on what LoseIt! is telling me my calorie limits are (currently 1,520 per day), I want to try to structure my menu as follows:

• Breakfast ≤300 calories (includes protein, carb, fruit)
• Lunch ≤400 calories (includes entree, vegetable)
• Dinner ≤600 calories (includes protein, carb, vegetables)
• Snacks ≤200 calories (includes daily Mountain Dew allotment and desserts)

I am also going to try to eat a vegetarian entree for lunch or dinner at least twice a week, and I am going to try to eat fish or shellfish for lunch or dinner at least twice a week. Not for any particular reason except that I think it will expand my options and challenge my menu-planning abilities.

12W12S Update: Week 13? Or 14? Or Maybe 58?

I don't know what week this is, but I can report this: I lost 2 pounds on vacation, even though one day I had Doritos for lunch and one day I exceeded my daily calorie allotment by, like, 700. No joke. And I had a Swedish fish gelati from Rita's last night that was seriously among the most delicious things I have ever eaten in my whole entire life.

The big takeaway from this vacation: the Seaside Heights boardwalk kind of turned me off food, because it's totally lousy with gross tacky "Jersey Shore" crap and it made me not want to eat again, ever, for at least 12 hours. Also: it's really hard to get in the 30 minutes of ocean swimming that you expected to do when the water temperature is 57°F. Which it was, yesterday. Hopefully watching baseball games on television counts as "exercise."

Now that my full 12 weeks are over, I am going to re-evaluate and set some new goals. Using LoseIt! has really worked for me so far, so I am going to stick with it. New plan coming, as soon as I decide what it is.

12W12S: W11 Update

I lost another 5 pounds this week -- don't ask me how, because I'm not entirely sure myself. Since I started keeping track of my weight loss about three 3 weeks ago, I've lost 9 pounds, so I'm probably down 25-30 lbs. altogether. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep up this breakneck pace, but we'll see. Two pounds a week should not be a major struggle, not with so much to lose, but it's weird to watch the calorie allowance get gradually smaller. Who'd have thunk that a grown person could actually feel like they're getting enough to eat when their eating plan is based on ~1,500 calories per day?

Also, I am now beginning to see the tragic flaw in the "Desperation Samba" meal plan: we are basically out of food at this point. I had yogurt, fruit, and a mini-bagel for lunch today because I couldn't have a bowl of cereal -- we're out of milk. And it's too damn hot to go out to the store if we don't need to (especially because we already went to BJ's today and got about a ton of nonperishables for vacation).

My big decision now: weigh in before I go on vacation, or not? On the one hand, it would be nice to have an "accurate" calorie budget for while we're away, but on the other hand, I want to be able to enjoy myself and not feel like I can't have any typical vacation foods, like boardwalk pizza or ice cream. It might only be a few calories that I'll be cutting off the total (right now, my "allowance" is 1,540), but that extra few calories might mean I can get sprinkles.  :-)

Cousins Calendar - July 2011

When I am not obsessing over what vegetable to make for dinner, sometimes I get some other stuff done. I went with the "rock star" theme here, because they're in sunglasses.

12W12S: W10 Update

Yesterday was a rough day for me because I was entirely off-book for basically the whole day: we went to Hersheypark for the company picnic. Part of our Annual Hersheypark Ritual is our Annual Pilgrimage-to-the-Bob-Evans-Right-Outside-Hersheypark. We always do this, so I tried to plan ahead, checking the Bob Evans website the night before so I could plan my breakfast in advance.

Here is the short version of the story -- I won't reveal what I actually ate, because I don't feel like getting sued, but next time, I'm just going to get a fruit plate and bacon or something, and save myself the agony.

Also: when a company sponsors a Weight Watchers program in the office, would it kill them to have additional offerings at the company picnic besides dried food-service hamburgers and room-temperature salad? I ended up filling a plate with burger toppings and calling those my "sides." Some chicken salad would have been nice.

Now, today is the last day of Week Ten (even though this is my 11th week on the program), so tomorrow I'm supposed to start Week Eleven, which was supposed to be the week of the family vacation, but it isn't. I haven't yet figured out how I'm going to address the "fresh goddamn air" problem, but I think I'm going to just bite the bullet and do two laps around the building at lunchtime. FBAEW.

12W12S: W10 Update

Last night's dinner ...

... which inspired this here post.

12W12S: W10

Oh my God, I can't believe I have actually stuck to this for 10 whole weeks already (because, remember, we had Week 9A in there)! Yay me! Even though I spent a ridiculous amount of money on these tiny little baby sodas:

As a reminder, for this week, I am switching from 12-oz. cans of Mountain Dew to 8-oz. cans. That's as small a serving as I can get, and as small as I am willing to go anyway. I know it's completely deranged, but knowing that Mountain Dew is part of my eating plan -- not something I am allowed to have, but something I am actually building my menu around, more or less -- has really helped me stick to this. And no diet will work if you don't stick to it, right?

I'm also making one previously un-announced adjustment to the plan, and that is to limit my lunchtime entrees to 300 calories or less. Using Lose It! has been very helpful because it gives me a daily calorie count to stick to, and that calorie goal adjusts as you lose weight. Right now, based on my current weight and my weight-loss goal (2 lbs. per week, until I'm down to 135 lbs., which is what I weighed the day I graduated high school), I get 1,586 calories per day. I want to make lunch and snacks take up 50% or less of my daily calories, so I can have more flexibility (and dessert!) at dinnertime.

12W12S: W9A Update

I started using a new app on my iPhone called Lose It! and while I'm figuring it out I'll be keeping track of my food there, so diet postings over here will be light. I know: escandalo! But I'm pretty sure it's kind of boring for you to read about how I eat the same damn things every day, just in different combinations. (Right, J?)

I will share amazing culinary discoveries with you, though, and today's is: Wegmans Food You Feed Good About Lemon Vinaigrette. HOLY TOMATO, yo.

Like good little dieters, we have been eating lots of fruits and vegetables. As I mentioned before, we are trying to follow a "half-plate healthy" eating plan as much as possible, especially at dinnertime. Due to my work schedule being kind of crazypants, we eat a lot of frozen veggies, but we eat fresh when we can (and, mainly, when our budget permits it).

But let's all admit it, shall we? Steamed fresh green beans are okay, but nothing spectacular.

Until today, that is. Because I tossed about a pound-and-a-quarter of green beans with some salt, pepper, and just one wee little tablespoon of that there vinaigrette, and I swear to God, I heard the angels sing.

Or maybe I am sick of just plain veggies.

But in any case, I can recommend this stuff. One teaspoon of dressing over a cup of vegetables is plenty, and I can absolutely vouch for how delicious it is on green beans. I can imagine it would be great on broccoli and with spinach, also, and probably even cauliflower and carrots. Only 15 calories for one teaspoon, also. Highly recommended.

12W12S: W9A

This week is actually the 10th week of this "program," and I was supposed to be keeping on with the positive changes plus cutting back to only an 8-oz. can of Mountain Dew (down from the regular 12-oz. can), but I still have more than a 6-pack of 12-oz. cans from the last time I went to the store and as I mentioned in the last update, if there's anything I hate more than being fat, it's wasting money. So I'm extending the Week 9 "menu" for another week and will fully switch over to Week 10 beginning next week.

Menu:

• Monday -- Smart Ones Breakfast Quesadilla, cherries, Lean Cuisine Swedish Meatballs with Pasta, pistachios, chef salad (iceberg and romaine lettuce blend, celery, cucumber, tomato, shredded Colby Jack cheese, diced ham, diced turkey, chopped reduced-fat reduced-sodium bacon, croutons) with 2 Tbsp. Ken's Light Options Honey Dijon dressing, 3 small slices Italian bread with margarine
• Tuesday -- 4 oz. yogurt, mini bagel with ½ oz. fat-free cream cheese, apple, Healthy Choice Sweet & Spicy Orange Zest Chicken, ½ sliced peeled cucumber with 1 Tbsp. light ranch dressing, pistachios, 2 TGI Friday's Sizzling Steak Fajitas, sliced onion and bell pepper, ½ cup Knorr Taco Rice
• Wednesday -- GoLean! Crisp, milk, frozen mixed berries, Lean Cuisine Mushroom Tortelloni, single-serve Brussels sprouts, Birds Eye Steamfresh Roasted Chicken in Honey Chipotle Sauce, sliced onion and bell pepper, ½ cup steamed broccoli

We don't often have salads for dinner but it was so stinkin' hot this week that a nice salad was perfect, especially because on Monday we were still recovering from the holiday weekend's shenanigans and over-indulgence.

Also: I am trying out a new iPhone app starting this week, Lose It!, which I can use to track food and calories and exercise and nutrients and lions and tigers and bears, oh my! I will give you a report in a little while, once I've used it for about a week.

12W12S: W9 Update

One quick advance update* -- next week I am supposed to switch over to 8 oz. cans of Mountain Dew, but I still have more than half of a 12-pack in the fridge, so I am going to "extend" Week Nine until the regular-size cans are gone. Week 9A, I guess it will be.

Anyway:

• Thursday -- Jimmy Dean D-Lights Turkey Bacon Breakfast Bowl (delicious! but needed some ketchup), pear, Healthy Choice Fire Roasted Tomato Chicken, single-serve broccoli and cheese, pistachios, brown sugar barbecue chicken breast (marinade, not sauce), ½ cup Birds Eye Steamfresh Southwestern Style Rice, ½ cup Bush's Vegetarian Baked Beans
• Friday -- GoLean! Crisp, milk, cherries, Healthy Choice Country Breaded Chicken, carrots, pistachios, egg roll, 2 cups wonton soup broth with 4 dumplings
• Saturday -- 2 eggs scrambled with spinach, cheese and onions, 2 slices reduced-fat reduced-sodium bacon, mini bagel with margarine, V8, 2 cups wonton soup broth with 4 dumplings, 2 slices pork roll with cheese (no bun), grilled marinated chicken finger, 1 cup baked macaroni and cheese, 2 slices tomato pie, 3 wedges watermelon
• Sunday -- cherries, 2 eggs scrambled with cheese, 1 breakfast sausage, 1 slice Pepperidge Farm Light Style Soft Wheat bread with butter, 2 beef BBQ sandwiches with rolls, 1 cup macaroni and cheese, Quaker Chewy Peanut Butter 90 calorie granola bar, grilled marinated chicken breast tenders, sauteed zucchini, 1 cup pasta salad with cheese and pickles, cherries, watermelon

The weekend was tough because we were at picnics most of the time, but I tried to make good choices. Limited my snacking, chose fruit when it was available, etc. It wasn't good, but I could have done worse (especially on Saturday, when we were at a picnic and there was nothing but high-carb side dishes and non-diet sodas). Will try to improve this week, and go back to packing a travel lunch next week.

[* Ed. Note: This was started on Thursday 7/1 so it isn't so "advance" any more, but it was at the time.]

Cupcake Calendar - July 2011

I got lucky with this page in two big respects: (1) I found a picture with a flag where Shae was looking directly into the camera, and (2) I was able to find exactly what I wanted for backgrounds, etc. I started scrapbooking around this time last year, and when I started, I wasn't entirely clear on the whole concept of "kits" and so stuff that I downloaded got split up and categorized and moved around, and it was surprisingly easy for me to find the stuff I acquired back in the beginning. The hardest part about putting this calendar page together was building the firework, which is made up of four different (similar) elements, which were conveniently all located in the same folder. Yes, the wording on this page is from the same source kit as the wording for the July page from the 2010 Cupcake Calendar -- I guess the takeaway from that is that Scrabble tiles make excellent "All-American" word art.

Anyway ... Happy 4th.

12W12S: W9

This week I am supposed to be limiting myself to only a cup of tea and a can of Mountain Dew, and that's supposed to be it for caffeine, but I have a truckload of soda at home that my mother bought, so I am going to be limiting myself to a can of caffeinated diet soda instead of the cup of tea until the soda is gone.

The foods:

• Monday -- GoLean Crisp!, milk, watermelon, Lightlife Linguine Siciliano, watermelon, pistachios, ½ cup spaghetti, 2 Tbsp. red sauce, 1 Tbsp. jarred alfredo sauce, 2 Perdue Italian breaded chicken patties, cheese, Spinach-and-Onion Gratin (recipe below)
• Tuesday -- GoLean Crisp!, milk, frozen mixed berries, Lean Cuisine Roasted Vegetable Pizza Deep Dish, carrots, string cheese, pistachios, 2 Mrs. Paul's Deviled Crab Cakes, ½ cup broccoli and cheese rice with veggies, frozen mixed veggies
• Wednesday -- 4 oz. yogurt, mini bagel, ½ oz. fat free cream cheese, pear, Smart Ones Tuna Noodle Gratin, frozen mixed veggies, Mini Babybel cheese, pistachios, 2 beef-bacon-and-cheddar sliders with wheat rolls, corn on the cob, steamed broccoli

The Spinach-and-Onion Gratin is a totally fake-made-up recipe that I invented because I was hungry for it, and I made it like this:

Spinach-and-Onion Gratin
2 teaspoons olive, vegetable, or basting oil
¼ Vidalia or other sweet onion, chopped
2 cups fresh baby spinach, torn
1½ teaspoons shredded Parmesan cheese
1½ teaspoons bread crumbs
Italian seasoning / Herbal Pizza and Pasta Magic, to taste

Heat oil in small skillet over medium-high heat. Add onions and saute 2 minutes. Add spinach and saute 5-7 minutes, stirring often, or until spinach is fully wilted and onions are at desired level of doneness. Remove from heat. Add cheese, bread crumbs, and seasonings. Stir to combine. Serve.

You can substitute 1-1½ cups zucchini and/or yellow squash for the spinach, or make a combination. You get the nice flavor fake-out of eating fried food without actually deep-frying anything, which is nice once in a while.

Also: I am so excited about dinner tonight that I could scream. I LOVE corn on the cob.

12W12S: W8 Update

Om nom nom:

• Friday -- GoLean Crisp!, milk, cherries, Lean Cuisine Bacon Alfredo Pizza Wood Fire Style, cantaloupe, pistachios, homemade beef quesadilla (beef, bell peppers, onions, mushrooms, spices, cheese, Flatout Light Sundried Tomato flatbread) with light ranch dressing
• Saturday -- 2 eggs scrambled with fresh spinach and cheese, 1 slice reduced-sodium and reduced-fat bacon, V8, cantaloupe and watermelon, 1⅓ cups Grilled Honey Mustard Chicken Salad, watermelon, crackers, fresh fruit salad (watermelon, grapes, strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, pineapple), ring bologna, cheese, kielbasa, cheeseburger with onions and tomato (no bun), ½ cup potato salad, ½ cup Green Stuff (with coconut)
• Sunday -- 2 fried eggs, mini bagel with margarine, V8, cantaloupe, lemon pepper chicken pita sandwich, pistachios, 5 Doritos, McDonald's Premium Caesar Salad with Grilled Chicken (dressing and 2 pkgs. croutons not shown in nutrition info), McDonald's Mac Snack Wrap, ⅓ pkg. small fries

Saturday was a "bad" day because we went to a birthday party for a 3-year-old and we figured there would not be a whole lot of "healthy" choices, so I tried to eat very light for breakfast and lunch (even though the pasta salad is kind of calorie-intensive) and I ended up STARVING by dinnertime. I tried to eat mostly low-carb foods for snacks, and I ate as much fruit salad as I could get my hands on. It was FANTASTIC.

Sunday was a "bad" day because I spent the entire day in the pool with Shae and then by the end of the day I was STARVING. The salad was just not enough. I tried to make "better" choices when I got to dinner. Not great ones, but at least I didn't get a whole Big Mac, right? (Humor me -- we don't do this often.)

12W12S: W8 Update

The continuing adventures:

• Tuesday -- ¾ cup Kashi GoLean Crisp! Toasted Berry Crumble cereal, ½ cup skim milk, string cheese, 2 small plums, Lean Cuisine Jumbo Rigatoni with Meatballs, single-serve broccoli with cheese sauce, pistachios, Barber Foods Broccoli Cheese Stuffed Chicken Breast, ½ cup Knorr Sides Plus Cheddar Cheese Pasta, mixed veggies, cantaloupe
• Wednesday -- English muffin sandwich, cantaloupe, Chunky Healthy Request Old Fashioned Vegetable Beef soup, grape tomatoes, sesame-ginger marinated pork, stir-fry vegetables and sauce, pineapple, ½ cup ramen noodles
• Thursday -- 4 oz. YoPlus cherry yogurt, mini bagel, strawberry cream cheese, cherries, ½ shrimp salad sandwich on focaccia, very small salad, carrots, pistachios, meatballs, ½ cup spaghetti, zucchini and yellow squash, spinach, diced tomatoes

Lunch today was a little more calorie-intensive than I expected, but it was a "thank you" lunch and I figured a small treat was not too damaging. I had Diet Coke with it, and I brought home some sweets for G & Shae. That sandwich was one of the best things I have eaten in WEEKS, positively divine: shrimp, mayo, dill, with sprouts and tomato on an onion focaccia roll. DIVINE, I tell you. I had an inexplicable craving for lobster rolls today, and that shrimp salad really scratched the itch.

12W12S: W8

Haven't really talked much about it, because I am not keeping track in terms of "numbers" (i.e., weight), but I think this diet is working. I think. I mean, I didn't really expect to lose a whole lot -- as I said myself:

I do not really have a goal here, beyond the generic "eating better and being healthier." Ideally I'd like to lose some weight, maybe 20-25 lbs. by the time the 12 weeks are over, but I am more interested in making positive changes and sticking to them [than] I am in hitting a specific target. Maybe if I can stick to this plan I will revise the goals.

I also said some stuff about maybe weighing in at the beginning, which got exactly nowhere. I have not once, in the past seven weeks, weighed myself, and I don't intend to jinx things now.

But ... well, I need new pants. One pair of shorts does not stay up, like at all, unless I am sitting down. I did just get a replacement pair, but I don't want to go too crazy, just in case I decide to revise this plan for another 12 weeks. I have some veteran shorts that I haven't been able to wear in a while, and maybe they'll fit me by vacation. Otherwise I might need to get a belt or two. My bras and bathing suits fit all wonky, but I don't really care. I have a sassy bright orange bathing suit that maybe I will fit into for the shore, but let's not get too crazy.

Mostly I'm glad at this point that (1) I have been able to stick to the plan so far, (2) I have not had a single piece of candy before 6pm in at least five weeks (I have had a few handfuls of M&M's and a couple of pieces of licorice since I started, but they have all been after dinner), and (3) most melons are in season, and I have designed this thing to allow myself to eat all the fruit I want to, because the cantaloupe I have had so far has been spectacular.

Anyway. Here is today's menu: yogurt, mini bagel with ⅝ oz. strawberry cream cheese, 2 small plums, 1 can Chunky Roasted Beef Tips with Vegetables soup (not exactly a Lean Cuisine, but similar calorie content and 2 servings of vegetables in the can), carrots, pistachios. For dinner we're having "Fajita Chicken Skillet" (recipe below), corn on the cob, and Spanish rice -- I'll be having ½ cup of rice.


FAJITA CHICKEN SKILLET RECIPE
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
2 tablespoons olive oil
½ large sweet onion (Vidalia or Maya sweet)
1 green bell pepper
1 red or orange bell pepper
2 tablespoons shredded Mexican cheese blend

• (If desired, marinate chicken up to overnight. Mesquite or fajita marinades are fine, or even plain old Italian dressing will work. This step is totally optional.) Cut chicken into thin strips. Season as desired with salt, pepper, chili powder, Sazon, or other Latin-style seasonings.
• Heat oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add chicken strips and cook for 2-3 minutes per side, until outside is no longer pink but meat is not yet cooked through.
• Meanwhile, cut onion and peppers into thin strips. Add to skillet and continue cooking for 7-10 minutes, stirring occasionally, until chicken is cooked through and vegetables are desired level of brown.
• Remove from heat, add cheese, stir to blend well, and serve.
• Can be served with fajita-size tortillas, over rice, or just plain. If desired, garnish with salsa, guacamole, and sour cream. (We eat it just plain.) Delicious with corn on the cob.

Cousins Calendar - April 2011

Two things about this: this is NOT what I intended to do, when I started out making this page. There were things I wanted to do, and instead we got this. Usually that annoys me, but I just let the page "assemble itself" and I got something I rather like.

Also: when I have to do these for three grandchildren? I might have to outsource.

12W12S: W7 Wrap-Up

Last day of Week Seven! Today's menu: 2 eggs scrambled with spinach and cheese, 1 turkey breakfast sausage link, V8, cantaloupe, Lean Cuisine panini, carrots, pistachios.

We're going to the movies today (taking Shae to see "Toy Story 3") and I'll have some popcorn but I'll try really hard not to overdo it.

12W12S: W7 Update

More of the noms:

• Thursday -- 1 cup Golden Grahams, milk, 2 small plums, Smart Ones Fajita Chicken Pizza, grape tomatoes, pistachios, Light Babybel cheese wheel, diet green tea with ginseng
• Friday -- yogurt, mini bagel, ⅝ oz. strawberry cream cheese, apple, Smart Ones Traditional Lasagna with Meat Sauce (guess what brand was on sale this week), broccoli and cheese sauce, pistachios, diet green tea with ginseng
• Saturday -- 2 scrambled eggs with spinach and cheese, 1 turkey breakfast sausage, ½ mini bagel with ¼ oz. strawberry cream cheese, V8, lunch meat sandwich on pita, pickles, pistachios, cantaloupe, watermelon

My breakfast today was not intentionally low-carb, but I didn't get around to eating until a few minutes ago, and I know I'll be eating lunch soon, plus I'll be eating fresh cantaloupe and watermelon all day -- I cut it up myself -- so I figured it would all come out in the wash. (G and Shae split the other half of the bagel.)

12W12S: W7 Update

Week Seven. Let's go:

• Monday -- yogurt, mini-bagel, cream cheese, pear, Health Choice Ravioli Marinara Florentine, baby Brussels sprouts, pistachios, diet green tea with ginseng
• Tuesday -- raisin bran, 1 tbsp. dried cranberries, milk, banana, pistachios, diet tea with ginseng, Campbell's Select Harvest Light vegetable and pasta soup, mini-bagel, cream cheese, spinach (NOTE: food day at work, so I had my "lean lunch" for dinner instead, and added bagel to soup because 120 calories is NOT ENOUGH for dinner)
• Wednesday -- Smart Ones Canadian Style Bacon English muffin sandwich, apple, Healthy Choice Turkey Marsala, carrots, pistachios, diet green tea with ginseng

I was already drinking extra water starting in Week Six, so I kept to the spirit of the Week Seven change by drinking an extra cup of water every time I was in the lunch room. I am at about three cups of water per soda/tea, and am making A LOT of trips to the loo.

12W12S: W7 Hoagie Day Salad

We're having our monthly "Tasty Tuesday" at work today, and this time around we made a hoagie bar: everybody brought in different meats, cheese, condiments, etc. for hoagies, and we're building our own sandwiches. (I was in charge of Swiss cheese.) Instead of making a huge hoagie, I decided to make myself a chef salad, using a little bit of everything:

This salad contains a bed of shredded lettuce, sliced tomatoes, chopped onions, pickled sweet peppers, a sweet gherkin, a dill pickle sandwich slice (off to the right, not really visible in the picture), and then one slice each of imported ham, honey roasted ham, bacon-lover's turkey breast, roast beef, Genoa salami, sweet Lebanon bologna, regular Lebanon bologna, Swiss cheese, American cheese, and smoked Provolone cheese. I used hoagie dressing (oil, vinegar, and spices) instead of another kind of salad dressing. Really tasty, and it leaves room for potato chips and Doritos! (Which I enjoyed only in moderation, pinky swear.)

(I ate a light breakfast -- cereal and milk plus banana -- and I am planning on a smallish dinner, so I splurged and made a smaller second salad out of lettuce, tomato, peppers, honey ham, turkey, roast beef, salami, and Swiss, kinds of pickles, and dressing, and I didn't feel the least bit bad about it, since there are basically zero carbs in this thing.)

One strange / unusual thing about this: a couple of people saw me making a salad, and they liked the idea enough to make salads of their own. It's been a LONG TIME since I was a trendsetter.