12W12S2P Update: Oh Shut Up Already

I've been really bad in the last month or so, if you define bad in the same way that I do, which is actually being hungry and eating something.

Since I started this diet-or-whatever back in May, I've probably cut my calorie consumption in half, or close to it, anyway. Right now I get 1,353 calories a day on my plan, and I figure I was probably around 2,300-2,500 per day before I started. That is not an insignificant change.

Most of the time, I am fine with this, but lately I've been allowing myself "undocumented" treats, like an extra cookie here or there, and clearly it is adding up, because I am not losing weight as quickly any more. And I am getting frustrated, and allowing for more "undocumented" treats, which blah blah blah -- you know the drill.

I don't stop the emotional eating, even after all this time and all this (relative) discipline, is what I am saying.

Now we're getting into what is probably the worst time of the year for a dieter: the dreaded Holidays. Thanksgiving is NEXT WEEK. Christmas is exactly a month after that, with New Year's right behind. Between now and then, I have one office Turkey Feast (this Wednesday), one World's Second Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party (night before Thanksgiving), Thanksgiving itself (which I usually celebrate twice, once in the early afternoon and again in the evening), a baby shower for my sister (Saturday after Thanksgiving), the annual Haldaman Christmas party, Christmas, New Year's Eve, plus whatever we happen to do at the office. That list doesn't even include a retirement dinner for my dad, which we are hoping to celebrate while my sister and her family are in town from Chicago.

I'm trying to figure out the best way to handle this, so that I can allow myself to have a good time at these parties without starving myself the rest of the time, and still keep losing (or, at least, not gaining). I can't eat nothing but broccoli at Thanksgiving dinner. I can't eat nothing but salad the rest of the time (especially not when that salad is made with oh-so-yummy and also oh-so-fattening hot bacon dressing). I am hoping to get in some extra exercise over parts of the holiday period, but I don't know if it will be enough to counter-balance the plate full of carbs and turkey skin that I normally eat for Thanksgiving dinner (stuffing, mashed potatoes, rolls -- and sorry, but a nice crispy skin is the best part of the turkey).

AND OH MY GOD I WANT SOME PIE.

But mostly I want to find the place in my head where I can tell myself that it's okay to have an "off" week once in a while. I've been on this diet and doing pretty well since the beginning of May. Six months. I've unofficially lost somewhere between fifty and sixty pounds (officially, 37½ lbs.). I am entitled to a treat, and I know this. Rewards and positive reinforcement are good motivators. But I don't know how or where to draw the line between "occasional treat" and "unearned entitlement." And I don't know how to turn off the part of my brain that keeps saying that a week of zero loss and zero gain makes me a complete and utter failure and I should just go drown myself in a gallon of ice cream, or worse: I should never be allowed to eat again.

And I really need to figure out how I can fit some pie in there, while I'm at it.