12W12S11: Surrender

So you remember that I had this diet goal of being able to buy a pair of jeans at the Gap by March 1st, right? Well I'm going to come out and admit, right off the bat, that it doesn't look like I'm going to make it. I am disappointed but not devastated, which means that I am making progress on my multitude of issues. At this time last year -- hell, at this time six months ago -- this kind of setback might have thrown me way off kilter and possibly thrown me into some kind of emotional tailspin, but right now? It's not all that big of a deal. So it will take me another few weeks? So what?

Mommy's all right, Daddy's all right, we're all all right, we're all all right!

Believe me, this is HUGE for me. If you've been reading my blogs, you know I have BIG ISSUES, so acceptance of myself at any point in the game is an EPIC PERSONAL WIN.

So I've revised the plan and now I am hoping to buy that mythical magical pair of jeans at the Gap by April 1st. What's another month? By then I might even be down a whole additional size, and I'll be able to get 14's. Additionally, I have a pair of jeans and a pair of velveteen pants from Talbot's that I ordered online that are still too small -- I ordered 16's, which is what I wear in Lane Bryant pants, but either LB sizes run big or Talbot's sizes run small or both, because I can't get anywhere close to buttoning the Talbot's pants -- that I hope will fit by April 1st. New pants for everybody, yay!

Oh, are you looking for numbers? Apparently the combination of PMS last week and strep throat earlier this week has been good for me, because I lost 5½ lbs in 2 weeks. I continue to wish that my loss was more consistent -- I am still trying to lose 2 lbs. a week but I will settle for even ½ lb., as long as I lose SOMETHING every week -- but I am not about to beat myself up over it.

And, because it's been a while, a "recipe" for you, although I hesitate to call this one a recipe because it kind of isn't -- mostly it's a bunch of delicious things slapped in a bowl. But it was good, it was one of the best lunches I've had in weeks, and you should try it too.

Diet Loaded Baked Potato

• 1 medium baking potato (Russett, Idaho -- brown skin, about ½ lb.)
• 2 tablespoons shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
• 1 tablespoon real bacon bits
• 2 tablespoons reduced- or non-fat sour cream
• 1 tablespoon dried chives

1. Wash potato. Wrap in aluminum foil and bake, or poke with holes, wrap in a paper towel, and cook in the microwave for 4-5 minutes or until done.
2. Remove potato from oven and allow to cool until it can be handled comfortably.
3. Split potato lengthwise and lightly "chop" or mash until slightly fluffy.
4. Sprinkle cheese and bacon over potato.
5. If necessary, microwave for 15-25 seconds or until cheese is melted.
6. Top with sour cream and chives.
7. Thoroughly enjoy.

Based on LoseIt!'s calculations, each loaded potato has between 250-275 calories, depending on the size of the potato and whether you use reduced-fat or fat-free sour cream (I used fat-free and mine came out to 265 calories). Worth every single calorie.